Copy-paste email template for an honest no-new-progress-yet update on a long-running escalation.
Hi {{first_name}},
Promised you an update, so here it is, we don't have new info yet. Engineering is still on it; current theory is {{current_theory}}.
Next checkpoint: {{next_checkpoint}}. I'll send an update either way.
I know "no update" isn't satisfying. Wanted to be honest rather than send filler.
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